Saturday, February 18, 2006

Fear and Self-Loathing

I just sent the manuscript off to my agent-in-waiting. God, I am petrified. I seriously can no longer tell whether the book is a masterpiece or a piece of shit. I've added and subtracted so much, it's the same book but entirely different. I am so scared. If he decides, again, to pass, I'm not sure what to do next. I have no back-up plan. Every egg I've got is in this little basket. Please do send fairy dust and a little voodoo directed toward New York City where my novel sits and waits in the agent's in-box.

The girls are climbing the walls; I've been at the computer for a week solid. I'm a terrible mother. Kicky is disciplining Esmee as I write. When she starts cooking the meals I should probably worry...

Unfortunately, there is no rest in sight. I've taken on a freelance job writing a newsletter for a laboratory supply company. Am I insane? Also, my classes are in workshop mode, so I am either reading or critiquing continuously from now until May.

No comments: